No longer is it acceptable to disregard, take for granted, or decline an invitation from Nita Mukesh Ambani. It calls for your undivided, grateful, and reverent attention right this second. Everyone should be there. Especially if you’re only there to help set the stage for her great accomplishment for Indian culture by being there in the first place, at a cultural facility designed for the sharing, collecting, and celebrating of art and artists. By her. Obviously, it’s for the benefit of art as a whole.
She claims that she is currently the most revered expert on the visual culture of India, including its art, fashion, design, craftsmanship, and even history. In her own words, as she experiences it. Who post selfies every other day for reasons best known to, uh, nobody, and thus effectively sealed the fate of Indian high fashion with a barely concealed Anna Wintour doppelganger grin.
The birth of a star
Nita, who had previously worked in the field of education, became a philanthropist after marrying into the wealthy Ambani family. Which Forbes has a say Given that everyone should be treated equally in an ideal world, a hierarchy needs to be established. This is especially true if you come from a secular country that takes great pride in its ability to “sell” secularism. Obviously, with Lord Shiva’s permission.
Seeing her growing tummy, Nita Mukesh Ambani, ever the realist, swiftly concluded that she would never be a Meryl Streep but that it was never too late to become Anna Wintour. Especially if you’re going to hand over money that has been in the family for generations but was acquired through questionable or perhaps criminal means to a male successor, She joined the Metropolitan Museum’s numerous boards, saw her idol’s cold demeanour, and eventually came to terms with the fact that she would need to cultivate a personality of her own if she ever wanted to be taken seriously by her idol, Anna Wintour. She had travelled all the way to the gates of one of India’s numerous high temples of culture, having devoted her life to the cause of women and the arts in India.
Gala Jab, We Met
On March 31, 2023, my social media account was flooded with posts from Bollywood stars doing “Mike a minute. The Nita Mukesh Ambani Cultural Centre (NMACC) was officially opened with a series of festivities hosted by Nita Mukesh Ambani. Nita Mukesh Ambani, who is also a trained Bharatnatyam dancer, performed during the inaugural ceremony and ensured that all the dancers behind her were paid to coordinate with her, even when she missed a few beats or twirled the wrong way. That’s just her style.
The ceiling of the auditorium, which could hold 2000 people, was covered with numerous Swarovski crystals for this performance. Don’t ever imagine for a second that money can’t buy you happiness.
An exhibition honouring Indian textile art from the 1600s to the present day served as the opening’s centrepiece. She somehow managed to pack the fabric of time, again going back to the beginning of time, into a single display, and no one knows how she did it. The show, titled “India in Fashion,” was carefully put together by Hansxx to honour Indian fashion and craftsmanship. The first day of culture was celebrated with a performance of The Great Indian Musical: From Civilization to Nation. Maybe even implied something about the current state of affairs, but that’s up to Nita to decide. I have no idea what to say.
Then Bolly came along
Bollywood is the epitome of sophisticated entertainment. It was meant as a pun. Mark Twain, like all white supremacist writers of his period, considered puns to be the lowest form of literary expression, and he dismissed them as “tepid wealth-laden
The guest list for a cultural centre’s inaugural ceremony, which took place during a South Asian wedding, was the first thing to pop up on my news feed. All thirteen of them, in an effort to one-up one another, posted extraordinary dispatches from the War for Relevance. Alia Bhatt’s postpartum denial was on full display as she wore a bulbous pumpkin dress that was thirty years and a few minutes too short for her newborn kid.
A swarm of stylists, in varying degrees of grovelling submission, surrounded her. I ignored it and crossed my fingers that her kid was okay. It’s no longer shocking that Deepika, last seen in a bralet as an agent of change fighting against or for her love, has previously dressed up as the attractive girl cradling the cup on FIFA grounds. The entire team at her mental health organisation is now betting on when she will finally snap.
As I serve thali, the classic North Indian assortment of vegetables, daal, and rice, my auditory input is ringing with the noise of self while I am blinded by the night circus of Bollywood pageantry that appeared to have collectively aided its mother’s closet, leaving nothing out except for garments that cover essentials; as I am confounded by yet another deluded resolve to take back an ‘Indian Narrative’ from its ‘Colonial Fetishism,”
The column Paap Culture provides sardonic comments on oddities in the world of pop culture every other month.
